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Monday, 15 December 2014

Normal.

I feel normal. 

Well normalish. 

It's 7 and a half  weeks post surgery. I am getting my energy back slowly. Yesterday I only needed a little lie down on the sofa while T and P played Lego. Then we went for a walk and I didn't need a stop. 

Today I went for a walk on my own to TK MAXX. Whooooo. I managed to do some shopping too. Without it all seeming a bit much. And I recorded a pause for thought for work. And called and spoke to Carol AND IT about my password. 

So where are we? 

2 weeks into radical chemoradiotherapy. Unscathed so far. No sickness. Though am not on the ketogenic diet anymore. Managed 3 weeks. Currently stuffing carbs into my face like there's no tomorrow though making sure am getting plenty of fluids and fruit and veg too. 
Scalp hurting on the top of my head. 
Aware of bowels!!

And very aware of my hair. I am thinking I might have a problem with my hair coming out. How will it be? It's likely to be a patch of hair on the left hand side. How big? How will it impact my head? Will I be able to cover it up? All these questions running through my head. 

Oh the radiotherapy itself is simple, I go to a plush clinic every day, the same nurses come and take me through and I lie on a clinical bed, they ask me to tell them my date of birth and clamp me in to my mask. I do not like the feeling. It is hard. I can't get comfy. I am tense. Itchy. They say we're leaving the room now and put my music on. 5 minutes pass during which time I struggle internally with using the phrase 'peace and calm' from my meditation and am aware of my heart beating, thudding and the urge to swallow and move is huge. Then there's a big crescendo and I hear the radiographers coming in, they unclamp me and I sit up. Always a bit disoriented. With a bit of a localised headache. Only done 10! 20 to go. 

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